Q: What is the meaning of the Law of Attraction and Manifestation?
A: For me, it’s always been:
- Telling yourself something will happen or come true.
- Building up positive energy, certainty and intention around it.
- Leaving it alone (yet taking the stepping stones that present themselves) until it comes into reality.
The secret to Law of Attraction is acting ‘as if’ your desired reality is a true reality and using that role-play to create reality whatever it might be.
Something I like to discuss when I talk, coach law of attraction and teach courses on manifestation is that we are all already experts at manifesting. The way we see ourselves the way we talk about ourselves, the choices that we make, all create our futures.
In a spiritual sense, yes, the energy we put out is very much the energy that we get back from the universe. Yet we also subconsciously we create a life for ourselves according to what we believe our place in the world to be.
This could be influenced by anything: from your cultural background, to how your siblings treated you, to your parents, your teachers and culture in general.
So the law of attraction and manifestation is about stopping this process being automatic, and deliberately putting out what you want to see back.
You need to start shifting some of those things about your identity, so that your place in the world is a place of an abundant, rich, wealthy person with a beautiful home and a great relationship and all these things.
Q: Do we need to conscious remove any negative thoughts or any negative statements in order for the Law of attraction and manifestation to work?
A: Yes. It works in the negative as well as the positive.
When we keep telling ourselves the negative things, or the limiting things, we’re keeping ourselves as “a person who”.
I do a little private tutoring around English for adults, which is what I did before becoming a coach and therapist. I was recently speaking with an adult learner who’s gone back to study English and she said to me, “I’m no good at English. I didn’t get the grades at GCSE (the UK high school diploma).
I reminded her that the difference between her at 16 and her at 38 is about 15 years. It’s so important to get across that message that you’re not that kid anymore. You have common sense and have learned an abundance of things since childhood. Yet it’s a classic example, isn’t it? “I’m no good at maths because I was terrible at school.”
People say comments like this all the time but actually when do we stop and ask: when was the last time we tested that theory?
We so often keep hold of these old identities. A lot of the time it’s subconscious -we actually stop ourselves subconsciously from evolving.
You may be surprised to know that most of our understanding of the world and our place in it comes from under the age of seven. Even though it sounds incredible, pretty much everything about who you are is decided by the age, and many of us don’t really budge.
You can often see that people make similar income levels as their family; people repeat the same relationship patterns. Often whatever people experience in early life tends to echo itself throughout their life. You have to question: why does that happen?
Q: Why do we repeat the Same Patterns?
A: It’s partly energetic. Part of it’s a belief that goes on your head of what we think “people like me: can and can’t do.
If the energy of the universe is a reflection of you in this moment, then what you have to do is change yourself in this moment to make a different reflection.
As humans we don’t often do that. We think to ourselves:
“I’m lacking this”
“I feel terrible, because I don’t have that”
“I should have this. I should have that.”
Then even if you move towards that thing by say, saving up for a deposit on a house, we’re often still feeling this sense of lack and that holds us back because we are sending out the energy of “not having”
We need to change our point of view then to be able to change that pattern.
When I get x…. I will feel Y
Many people have something called a “when” tendency.
We get the cause of effect idea the wrong way around. We think: when I get a new job/ dream man, then everything will change.
Yet it doesn’t work that way. You have to change and evolve first; you kind of have to up level yourself to meet that thing where it is, because it’s unlikely to come down to meet you.
Sometimes it happens by chance. Some times we’ll fall in love and for the few months while we’re in the honeymoon phase, lots of great things that happen in our life is because our emotion is lifted. You might have the birth of a child, or a really great summer holiday but the downside of these highs is they’re all temporary.
It’s your day-to-day belief and emotion that are going to create that amazing future. We have to change our perspective.
Developing a Practice of Manifestation
I love the word practice because I think it works on two levels.
Having a daily practice suggests that you’re evolving yourself, you’re evolving your energy, but also practice makes perfect. You have to practice law of attraction and manifestation like anything else.
So the first thing to practice is: to see yourself as a new person.
If you’re saying, “I’m going to be the next Richard Branson”, but you don’t even feel like you could compete with the shop around the corner, then energetically, you’re miles away.
So it’s about starting to build your self-belief. Starting to build your confidence and there’s 101 ways to do that energetically for example, Applied Kinesiology and EFT.
Psychologically, there’s cognitive behavioural therapy and hypnotherapy that can help.
Sometimes though, it’s about just being courageous, having new experiences and building up faith in yourself by showing yourself: Yes, I can do things and maybe I’m not that person who couldn’t do Math anymore.
Q: How do you create a new identity?
A: This is going to sound like a really round-the-houses approach, but it’s absolutely the most powerful way: you’re going to feel good.
You’re going to get yourself in the headspace of being fun and lighthearted.
When things are fun and lighthearted; everything is less pressure, we care a lot less we have a lot more resilience.
So the first thing you have to do is to feel good.
Now that might be create by let’s say running from one person, it might be watching their favourite comedian for somebody else, maybe it’s meditation, it may be spending time with friends, doesn’t matter.
Simply get yourself into feeling good because actually, your future will reflect back how you “feel”. It doesn’t matter if you have the best job in the world, if you still feel terrible about it.
Start with the feeling. Start to feel how you would like to feel in the future. That will attract the job, the partner everything else that syncs with that feeling. A person who feels good becomes our identity. Of course that brings with it many personality traits but you don’t have to plan for those that will happen naturally, simply get happy.
So it’s about being joyful and grateful. A gratitude journal a brilliant place to start. Something I do every morning is write down 10 things I’m grateful for.
A lot of people who do gratitude go in at the deep end: I am grateful for my partner, I’m grateful for the children that are no longer going hungry in the world. These things are great, but you don’t always have to go deep with this. You can be grateful for pizzas and TV shows and for the band Metallica. Because as well as strong positive emotion, the universe also loves it when we are light and playful.
For every 10 things you’re grateful for: make five of them light-hearted.
As your gratitude increases, your appreciation will increase and likely your compassion. We can use gratitude to easily make our days that little bit nicer.
My kinesiologist always says to me: “ You just have to choose one thought better. You don’t have to go from depression to elation, just think what is a slightly better thought than the one you are having right now.
Q: How do you make the law of attraction and manifestation work
A: The second principle to getting manifestation to work is by getting really intentional.
Know EXACTLY what kind of job you want. It’s not your job to work out how it’s going to happen. The universe is very intelligent, it knows. You simply need to visualize and hold an image have that job.
Q: What do I do if I don’t know specifics. What if it is vague?
A: Let’s say you know you want an office job and you’d like to feel really confident but that’s about it. You can still imagine yourself in the clothes you’d like to wear, imagine yourself walking through the doors, feeling the air-con, smelling the coffee and feeling great.
Hold on to that intention and you can manifest work that fulfils the brief. Of course it’s even better if you can get really specific.
I’m a singer. So sometimes, what I’ll do is imagine myself on stage, looking really confident, just having a spotlight on and doing music and singing my own songs to the audience and everybody is enraptured. I can feel the floorboards beneath my feet and I could feel the air con against my face. I know how the mic feels in my hand. It’s so precise I could be there
So you’re really getting in touch with the senses here as well. The word visualization is a very misleading word because when we visualize we tend to think it’s just images.
However images are very surface level, actually, to effectively visualize you need to engage your five senses.
You need to think about what you can hear?
What you can smell?
What kind of perfume are you wearing?
Engage every .single .sense.
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Q: What if I don’t really want what I think I want?
A: Sometimes you’ll do your visioning practice and it’s like trying on new clothes in the shop. You realize that you don’t really like it.
This happens a lot when we make our dreams based on what others might want for us, or what we think we “should do”, what perhaps we’ve got pressured to do.
When we visualize that and really get into the senses will know something’s off.
So if you have that experience, that’s totally, totally fine. Just step away from that, and try a few other things on. You wouldn’t buy the clothes that don’t fit you just because your friend said it looked nice. You’re the one that’s got to wear it.
Q: What Stops people from Manifesting
Well, that’s a great question. The secret sold 6 million copies worldwide and there aren’t six millions millionaires!
I believe that is because a great barrier is self-belief.
Many of us, deep down, believe that we’re not enough. We don’t deserve it. We’re not worthy. We’ll get caught out.
We believe “people like me, don’t have opportunities like that.”
These things sabotage us. So actually a big part of doing the law of attraction and manifestation well is addressing that stuff. We need to ask: why do I believe I’m not worth it?
Going through CBT exercises are great for this, for example asking: what evidence have I got that that’s true? What evidence do I have that this isn’t true?
You’ll likely come up with historical events such as: “ When I was 11, Joe in class said that said that I wasn’t as good as everyone else”
Please understand that that’s not to say that you didn’t feel bad and that you shouldn’t honour the part of you that’s wounded.
There’s a lot of very important healing work you can do with inner child, but essentially by realising this is a belief that began when you were 11 and you’re now 40, is telling yourself that you don’t have to believe Joe anymore.
You don’t have to believe what your mind is telling you. You don’t have to believe your emotions. The brain often codes us with these early experiences and the code just sticks forever until we challenge it.
It’s important to find a method to re-code the mind. I’m a hypnotherapist and hypnosis is a fantastic tool yet there are many others.
Q: How de we creating a habit of stopping our junk thinking?
A: I love that word habit. I think too many of us take on things as identity that are really just habits. And it’s important to call them habits because most of us believe we can change a habit and most of us believe it’s impossible to change our identity. Actually neither is impossible but let’s make it easier on ourselves by first recognizing identities as habits.
Take being dis-organised as an example. People believe they are “messy” “disorganised” when really they just haven’t developed effective habits around organisation. Organisation can be taught it’s not our DNA. Maybe they just didn’t have a good role model when growing up or didn’t prioritise it as important.
It’s also important to know that sometimes a negative identity serves us. The disorganised person may be less likely to be expected to undertake complex projects or given the pressure of a high responsibility role. The disorganisation then protects them from failure and embarrassment.
So maybe you’re holding onto your habits as they serve to protect you yet they are at the same time stopping you from evolving into your best self.
It’s not to say that if you decide I’m a confident person, you’re not going to feel anxiety or embarrassment. It’s just the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that changes.
The first step is to convince yourself that whatever you’re moving towards, you’re worthy of. That might mean you take smaller steps.
If you’ve ever made a vision board, you’ll most likely have found that you went “big” with what you put on there. Smaller steps might mean that you might not put the yacht; you might put the good quality family car. You might choose to manifest a house that’s say, 20-50k g above your budget right now. Or you might aim with a job that’s just a promotion higher.
With manifestation you can start bringing yourself up gradually if you’re belief is shaky.
As you start to find things begin to happen, you can increase and increase and increase.
Small daily steps to get away from negativity could be something as simple as, not making a negative comment on social media this month.
It’s small daily habits like that, that keeps your energy generally good.
If you’re watching the news, if you’re on social media, there can be lot of negativity there. If you’re spending time with friends or colleagues, who are constantly moaning, that’s affecting your energy that’s bringing down your moods. It’s great to have a diet from that stuff.
You’ve got to say: you know what, I’m not going to reach my full potential if I let this stuff pollute me.
I’ve just had a bit of a diet from Facebook myself, because I feel like there’s far too much negativity on there and just a week of not having the app on my phone. I feel so much more positive, so much more peaceful.
We have to be light hearted.
Q: Tell me about Certainty and Lightness
A: For Law of attraction and manifestation to really work with you, you either have to be absolutely certain that this thing is going to happen that you want. Or not care.
Right. Yeah, I know that sounds odd. When we care too much we become desperate and lacking and that’s not the right space to manifest.
Manifestation is a little like shopping for something you’re not desperate for but you’d like to pick up next time you’re at the store. Let’s say a light bulb goes out in the garage: you have both certainty you will be able to find what you need in a store; yet if you don’t find what you need today it’s okay – it’s no disaster, you’ll just get it another time.
So if you have fun with this and say: okay, I’m going to manifest the parking space, you probably don’t care that much if you don’t.
The lighthearted spirit and sense of fun and playfulness will most likely make that happen.
The musician Noddy Holder told this story on an interview once. He was having his shoe shined by a man in Birmingham market. He made small talk and got talking about careers. The shoe shiner said that he wouldn’t be doing this job for long because “I’m going to be the world’s number one rock star”. Noddy wished him luck but didn’t believe it. A few years later, who is that on the Top of the Pops but the band Queen fronted by Freddie Mercury. He immediately recognised Freddie as the shoe shiner from all those years ago.
So what Freddie had was absolute certainty.
So you could start by manifesting smaller things relating to health, friendships, social life, maybe you could manifest tickets to a football match.
Q: So why aren’t there more lottery winners?
A: Now, there’s a bit of a problem when a lot of people trying to manifest the same thing. Let’s talk about the issue of 6 million pounds. It is far easier for the universe to find a way to bring you 6 million without winning the lottery. With the lottery there are millions all wanting the same prize. There can only be one winner. Ask generally for financial abundance then the universe has options. Even better if you simply manifest the feeling of abundance or the freedom it will give you (because really that’s why most of us want the money, it’s not for the golden candelabras)
Q: Who’s job is it to manifest?
A: For me – and I’ve heard this a lot in law of attraction and manifestation circles – it’s important to accept that we are working with higher power. I like to use the word ‘universe’ some people might say ‘god’ or ‘fate’.
These are big words yet big words help. If you accept that there’s a higher power, and you give your desires to the higher power (meaning give them full directorship of the “how it will happen”) then your manifestations can reach you faster.
Firstly it’s humbling. You don’t have to believe “you” have to do it all and make it all happen. Phew – pressure off right! You don’t have to believe yourself to be a god. There is no demand on you to be infinitely wise and aware of all things. But you can have faith that something is and that is will work with you on this thing.
You may have heard the phrase ‘trust the universe’ or ‘in good we trust’ or ‘it’s in the hands of fate’. We’ve been thinking in this way for centuries. You don’t have to be religious for law of attraction and manifestation to work. Faith in ‘luck’ is common amongst atheists too. It can just really help your mind-set and belief in the outcome.
I believe maybe 80% of people do believe in some other power. Also, you’ve got to question the fact that even if there is nothing spiritual about this, that it’s science (and Quantum physics is showing that thoughts really do affect matter!)
Certainly changes us. If you really believed you were going to be the world’s number one rock star, your decisions would entirely change. You would take different training, you would speak to different people, you would get yourself out in front of different audiences, and you’d become more confident the ways of thinking and acting. If you believed it was a certainty it was going to happen then this belief in itself would likely propel you very far.
I love the quote: shoot for the moon and if you fail you’ll fall amongst the stars. Not everybody can be the next Freddie Mercury but people can have fantastic musical careers. Why not have certainty that you’re not going to be the next rock star because that will propel you just from making better, higher level choices and so much more energy and effort than you might have done otherwise.
- The law of attraction and manifestation is the energy that you have in the moment that will reflect into your future.
- If you want a positive future, you need to get happy now.
- If you want to bring about a particular goal, focus on it, be really intentional.
- Use all 5 senses to vision what you want to manifest.
- In order to manifest fantastically, you’re going to have to get past those beliefs about yourself not being worthy or not being enough.
- Start small and make incremental changes with this.
- There are two ways to get great energy for manifestation: having certainty, or detaching from the outcome.
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